Marriage and Pursuit of Ministry, Which One Comes First for Women?

Should christian women pursue their calling

Sitting and listening attentively at a women’s conference, I heard the words which filled my thoughts the whole week and the week after.  Women of different professions and callings, we were all there to be admonished, encouraged and discipled, but I left with more questions than I had before I came there.

We were told our priority in life was to help our husbands fulfill their purpose, this should be our duty and our everyday actions must be geared toward doing just that.

If this is true, then why does the Lord often call women to fulfill His purposes? Why does He put burdens on some of our hearts that have nothing to do with what our husbands are doing presently or will ever do?

In the quest to answer these questions, I’ll take us back to scriptures. In the book of Judges, we find a woman named Deborah (Judges 4: 4-5) who is identified and introduced as the wife of Lappidoth. I am certain this was to leave no room for guessing what her marital status was as a defense for some in the future to argue that she did all she did for Israel because perhaps she was a single woman. Deborah was not only a prophetess but she was a well sought after judge. There is no mention of her husband working alongside her, neither is there mention of her performing “women- assigned roles.” Here was a woman simply fulfilling destiny.

[Tweet “there are many women  who working with their husbands is the calling of God on their lives”]

Do not get me wrong, there are many women for whom working for or alongside their husbands is the calling of God on their lives, this should not be considered a lesser role than that of the spotlight, neither should it be exalted above those whom the Lord has called as married women to fulfill His purposes for their lives.

Let’s examine the ministry of yet another woman in the Bible, she isn’t as famous as Deborah is in today’s Christian world, but she played a very important role during her ministerial years. Her name is Huldah, a prophetess, she is mentioned in 2 kings 22: 5-10, she was the wife of Shallum, he was the keeper of the king’s wardrobe. Both had different roles and Huldah fulfilled hers independently. She was the one to whom the priest Hilkiah came to seeking a word from the Lord after the discovery of the book of the law during Josiah’s reign. She gave a prophecy and it indeed came to pass!

Consider Mary, the mother of Jesus, a young Jewish virgin to whom the angel appeared to and commissioned with the ministry of bringing the messiah into the world.

God did not first check it out with Joseph to find out if he would be comfortable with the idea of Mary bringing forth the Christ. He went to Joseph later on, telling him to help and be a part of Mary’s destiny. Joseph had to wait at least nine months to be truly a husband to Mary (Matthew 1: 24).

With that said, I must address women like me who have used their role as mother and wife to keep them from fulfilling destiny. I remember how I use to write and reach out to young people before and early on after getting married, but with the birth of our first-born son, all these activities were pushed to the back. Oh yes, the new baby was a genuine reason for every other thing to move down my priority list, but the question was for how long? How long was I going to wait before I returned to doing the things I knew the Lord had laid on my heart, after 2,3 or 4 kids? And how soon after?

[Tweet “Our duty as wives and mothers is primarily our husbands and children but not exclusively them”]

Our duty as wives and mothers is primarily our husbands and children but not exclusively them! The Bible is full of women who did wonderful things for God and in the name of God: Priscilla, wife to Aquila who were both missionaries (Acts 18 :26), Susana and Joanna who sponsored Jesus ministry from their pockets (Luke 8:3), Eunice who brought up a godly son-Timothy(2 Timothy 1:5), and the list goes on and on.

So where do you fall, do you know beyond a doubt that God has called you and yet you fight the urge and inner still voice with excuses of been married because you are a woman “under a man”?

Arise my sisters and be like Mary who answered the angel- ‘may it be according to the word of the Lord'(Luke 1:38). Remember that there are many who have gone before you, chose to say like the apostles said,

“we will rather obey God than man”


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